He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i love accidental penises.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
