He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
