its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
