I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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