Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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