after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
