overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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