Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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