too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
