I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
