I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
