did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
