TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A bitchslap is in order.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
