i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
