Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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