i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
