OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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