I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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