3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
