I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
