she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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