You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i drank out of a bidet.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
