It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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