i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize