I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
where are my eyebrows?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
