he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
