3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
