Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
