he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
BRING THE BAGELS
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
