hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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