Me too!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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