Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
