He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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