So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
