He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
