Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize