I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
