Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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