I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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