mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it glows. i had to have it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
