So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
