i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
