Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
