Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
