Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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