i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
