dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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