this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
