it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
