Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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