Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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