i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
