I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
