Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize