He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
