He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
