it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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